The truth will set you (and your mind) free

6 mins read

By Dr. Chantale Lussier, PhD, CMPC

Some of you are going to be mad at me for saying this but…

The only one holding you back, or sabotaging you, is you.

If your life was a song, would you notice a dominant chord, hook, refrains, and chorus, from inspired riffs, lyrics, and resolutions? If your life was a dance, would you be able to tell when you are merely performing a staged and highly rehearsed choreography - a habitual patterns of actions – from when you are genuinely embodying an authentic expression of the creative flow that lives through you in this moment, Here and Now?

Practice looking at your lived experiences beyond the story, beyond the narrative (yours and others), beyond the typical playbook, beyond the situational circumstances of this moment.

Zoom out. Way out.

Examine truthfully your own patterns. The details of the who and the what might change, but the patterns over time don’t. They repeat themselves again and again. Like fractals in nature, we too are made up of patterns, cause-and-effect, repeated. Look at the visible evidence first, then look even more closely at what you hide from others, and mostly from yourself.

Be brave and gentle with yourself when you start to understand beyond intrapersonal and social conditioning. This may bring tears and so much more, as you birth yourself into truth, agency, authenticity, and integrity.

“You are an aperture through which the universe is looking at and exploring itself… Through our eyes, the universe is perceiving itself. Through our ears, the universe is listening to its harmonies. We are the witnesses through which the universe becomes conscious of its glory, of its magnificence.” Alan Watts

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Somewhere along the way, we get attached to our own thoughts.

Have you noticed? Habits form, choreography sets, scripts get printed and imprinted onto us. The stories we have in our heads about who we think we are, and who we think other people are, especially in relation to us. This affects all facets of life from the professional to the deeply personal. And isn’t it all deeply personal anyway? In so much as it affects you, the person, the divide is artificial and socially constructed. As is the entire play, in the first place.

We make ourselves the center of every story, the protagonist, whether or not it is accurate. We grasp tightly at our own beliefs, including both the overblown and limiting beliefs, and allow them all to set as identities and scripts.

We then (unconsciously) agree to play them out, acting out these scripts over and over until we finally begin to learn the lessons.

See things and situations as they are. See people as they are. Not how we imagine and hope them to be. See yourself as you are now, too. Most villains, lovers, and heroes are exaggerated caricatures we drew up in our own minds. The truth lies usually somewhere in the messy middle.

Why? Because humans aren’t one dimensional, though we quite like to categorize ourselves and others as such. Good, bad. Winner, loser. Friend, foe. Lover, hater. It feels simpler to our human minds to make these dualistic decisions, because the actual truth requires the capacity to entertain nuances, multiple points of view, and numerous valid experiences. Ultimately, it requires us to broaden and deepen our range of understanding of each other and ourselves.

“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations” Alan Watts.

So get real, see truthfully, what is. The truth is infinitely more revealing and frankly interesting, than any made up fictional tales. Stay curious to see clearly now. The truth requires AND thinking more than OR thinking.

See this AND that. Allow yourself to truly meet the moment, meet an Other, meet Yourself, as is. Without projecting future hopes, potentials, and dreams, or past fears, hurts, and worry. Meet it all right here, right now, as it is. No better, no worst. Human, rather than a masked character you (or they) play in your mind.

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What do you see now? Without the old filter affecting perception, you may finally, momentarily, be free to see what is. Not the projections in the cave. See clearly now. See beyond your own projections, illusions, and tall tales.

“When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You are too this, or I’m too this.’ That judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.” Ram Dass

Practice turning yourself into a tree too. Be a witness to life, as it unfolds through you and others.

Notice now with clarity what ignites more life in you, and what drains you. What resonates and what doesn’t. Where comforts may lead to stagnation and discomforts may invite growth. What inspires you and what doesn’t. Notice what brings out the best version of you, and what only feeds your callous ego. Notice what challenges you meaningfully and what only creates pointless drama or boredom. Notice the clearest, most honest mirrors, from the dishonest distortions and fictional attachments.

Own what’s yours to own.

Get to work healing the wounds that keep (re)creating these patterns, over and over in your life. Then remove the clutter and obstacles that have accumulated within.

Next, make amends and get in right relation with those who’ve suffered as collateral damage in these patterns and plays. Get in right relation with yourself too.

Finally, lighten your mental, emotional, and spiritual backpack. Carry with you only the essentials, like a daypack. Truth, honesty, integrity, authenticity, joy, loyalty, kindness, patience, and love. Notice now that there is no room for embarrassment or shame except as a momentary moral compass to learn and course correct when needed.

Practice giving others and yourself grace, again and again.

Being human is hard AND profoundly beautiful when it’s lived bravely and authentically. So keep showing up. To yourself and with others. There is valour and honour in that.

After all I keep learning, the truth (really) will set you free. Free to love everything better, including yourself.

Author: Chantale Lussier

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